DEPTH

Depth is your due, the thread that binds life together, your through-line, the all-inclusive perspective of your life. Sexuality is not separate from this.

I desperately want to feel deeply. Just don’t know how.

Tell your partner, I want us to experience deeper fulfillment.

I tried that during our 4 year anniversary dinner. I told him I wanted to explore more, learn more, about him. I wanted to experience new things,  with him. He looked at me blankly and said he didn’t know what I was talking about. There were no more levels. No deeper levels with him. This. Was. It.

Take a risk and share your feelings- not with a sentence but with direct sharing. Show the depth of your love with unrepressed feeling.

I’m afraid that if I share my unrepressed feelings with my husband I will destroy us both with my pent-up rage, frustration and deep well of grief.

 Involve your whole body in every action. Rather than isolating body parts make love with your entire being.

How do you only make love with one body part? Am I missing something here?

I say that I want depth. But if I really wanted depth, I would have chosen deep men to have relationships with. However, I have consistently chosen impressively shallow ones. And if they are a mirror, then I must be impressively shallow too.

Ouch. That hurts.

I am so annoyed with my husband right now. I just returned home from reading my latest poem at an open-mic and he couldn’t even be bothered to ask me how it went.

He’s never even seen me read a piece to an audience.

He’s never seen me.

He only sees my weakness.

And he preys on the weak.

I would not say that compassion is his strong suit.

Last night I slept with our feverish daughter loved it. Her sweet little toddler butt and belly. She is 3.5 years old and I know she is around the corner from being a “kid.” I relish every moment of her smallness.

I love my husband again. He’s been super affectionate and flirty all morning. Grateful for the buckwheat pancakes I made him. It doesn’t take much for me to feel secure.

A little attention is all.

at·ten·tion
əˈten(t)SH(ə)n/
noun
  1. 1.
    notice taken of someone or something; the regarding of someone or something as interesting or important.
    “he drew attention to three spelling mistakes”
    synonyms: awareness, notice, observation, heed, regard, scrutiny, surveillance

    “he tried to attract the attention of a policeman”
  2. 2.
    the action of dealing with or taking special care of someone or something.
    “the business needed her attention”

 

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