SECURITY

SECURITY

Is an illusion. It’s not a thing. I can’t touch it smell it or taste it. Just like God.

Damn.

God-Security.

But I pine for it with every cell in my body.

TERROR OF ABANDONMENT

Is the flip-side

Watch for signs you want to be rescued in your relationship?

Oh shit. I do. I want him to make it all better. I always have. The prodigal HIM.

Do others give you security?

My last boyfriend- Richard/Dick/Less- made a point of making me feel insecure. He would say things like, “your fear of being a burden is a burden”

When I met Tim he made a point of making me feel secure. I had the first ever experience of not worrying about my relationship. I never once questioned his love for me or that we wouldn’t spend the rest of our lives together. That lasted a good 6 months.

Then fear stepped back into her usual spot and worrying about my relationship took front and center again.

It’s been 4 years since.

Release yourself from the bondage of using others to feel safe.

Write an inventory of all the ways you seek out security, and how each has worked for you?

  • I seek security in relationships by sleeping with men WAY too soon. It’s crazy. And each time, I think it’s going to be different, and each time, it is not.
  • I also seek security by contorting myself into whatever I think they want me to be. Then I get angry at them for it. I think they call that Passive Aggression.
  • I seek security with my daughter by hovering helicoptering and basically being a pain in the ass.

 

What gifts or superpowers have you uncovered in yourself? True inner security will see you through any storm.

I am Wordsmith Woman!!!

My words written and spoken have the power to heal and to transform pain. Mostly mine.

 

 

Security and passion are mutually exclusive.

 

That is my thought for the day.

 

 

 

 

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