The self-centered need for validation may be the single greatest motive for sexual and romantic hook-ups.

My God, what I wouldn’t give for some self-centered validation right now.

Having narcissistic caregivers leaves an individual endlessly seeking validation to fill the holes of invisibility, the lack of recognition and empathy.

This sentence stopped me in my tracks. They should have a picture of me next to it. It explains my fuckeduppedness with men perfectly.

I obsessively and compulsively get into and out of relationships. Always have.

I am shocked and devastated when a “hook-up” doesn’t turn into my boyfriend. Even if I couldn’t care less for them before. The fact that someone wants me, or at least wanted me, for a moment, is enough to set off a cacophony of survival hormones in me telling me to stay attached at all costs.

It took me a long time to realize that none of them, the hook-ups, ever said before we hooked-up, that they were going to be my boyfriend. Not one of them. If, by chance, they ever did become my boyfriend, I am pretty sure it is because I basically took them hostage and they had little or no choice. This was when I was drinking heavily. I was more aggressive then.

I fear this part of myself more than I fear anything. It is one of the main reasons I don’t want to ever leave my husband. I never want to put my daughter through that kind of hellish nightmare that dating is for me. I am a disaster.

I can’t say no.

Never have been. Not since I was 13 and that fucker stole it from me.

What do you need to be validated in your life that perhaps was not validated in the past?

That I am important to someone. That I exist. That I matter. That I will not be forgotten. That I am cherished. Adored.

Set an intention to receive validation where you need it. Start with personal affirmations and then ask others for some.

This is bullshit. I hate personal affirmations. I think they are stupid. I won’t do this. I refuse to be that inane.

Validate others, even if you disagree- repeat their statements.

Validate others, even if you disagree.

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” Yeats

I have to tell on myself. I just texted that Yeats quote to The Ninja. I am out of control. What am I doing??  I don’t DO this. I am married. I love my husband.

But oh my word if it doesn’t feel fucking amazing to have someone texting me stuff that feels so fucking good. It’s like a drug.

I can’t put the pipe down. I’m not strong enough.


One thought on “VALIDATION

  1. It is like a drug addiction and it can be insatiable. I know that this is seriously one of my biggest problems. Stay strong you CAN fight it if you want to, it is just really hard.


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