My experience with Highland Park is an opportunity for a revolution in this area of sex, lust, love, and need.
At least, that is what my meditation teacher has told me.
I am to observe in hyper detail every chemical, every sensation that arises and passes when he texts, and when he doesn’t text, and break it down.
In a mindful way.
I do not want to be a slave to this anymore.
I have every right to fuck someone in the back of their car if I want to.
My Husband’s fire for me going out is not my fault.
That is a myth.
I can decide to not believe that myth.
I am learning something about myself.
I love having sex with someone who loves having sex with me.
I want to get to the place where I can truly enjoy sex, for me.
Discover and uncover what I want. How I want it.
I want to get fucked. I want to make love. I want it all.
In a totally loving and safe way, of course.
Inspecting my stories around sex.
Dissecting, more like it.
Because of my first experience having sex that brought so much shame, that shame has followed me around like the plague.
I am done with it.
I am ready to let go of my shame blanket and to move on.
And a little cold.