HOME ALONE

So fucking tired.

I have to go speak at an AA meeting right not. I am not feeling very spiritually sobriety inspired.

I have a few shindigs to go to afterwards. Maybe I will put on a dress and some makeup? Scrub up. It’s been awhile.

Tonight is my daughter’s first night with her Dad, away from me.

It feels fucking weird.

I cried during yoga.

I haven’t cried since.

I have been too busy building IKEA furniture for the new place.

Maybe I will cry later.

Maybe.

I am finally home from speaking at the meeting and then forcing myself to go to the two different events. I feel listless and unmoored.

I spoke about how God is the only permanent thing in life.

I don’t know if I believe it, though.

I am home alone, eating cheese puffs on the couch in my pajamas, watching The Hunger Games.

The house is so quiet. So empty. No Husband. No Daughter. Not even our dog Bug, is here. I could have a dance party right now if I wanted to. I could masturbate on the couch. I could…take a bath and go to bed.

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