I had a feeling something was off when I didn’t hear from Highland Park all day, and we had a hot date lined up for that evening. That was unusual for him.

This date also required many hoops of jumping through, for me, so I was getting slightly anxious when 7 pm rolled around, and still, no word.

We had originally planned to meet Saturday night. The only night I didn’t have my daughter. But he called last minute and told me he forgot that his wife had a date of her own that night with another man, and he couldn’t leave the kid.

Totally understandable. Weird. But understandable.

I said to myself, “I guess this is the life of the second.”

He felt terrible, of course, and wanted to meet as soon as possible.

I knew it would be a long shot because I had my daughter back that night and had nowhere to go, but I suggested it, because it was the next night, and my libido was not being very patient, so I said, “What about Sunday Night?”

He said yes. For sure. See you tomorrow night.

Now it is Sunday night, and I have not heard from him all day.

I moved mountains to make this work. In fact, I am proud of my creativity. I begged my older brother to come after my daughter fell asleep and to merely hang out in the old house while I went next door, to my new house that I had not moved into yet, and had hot sex with Highland Park over there in my brand new bed.

My brother said Fine. He would do it.

I spent the entire day working my ass off putting together that brand new bed.

Just for this.

And now I was sitting next door, in an empty two bedroom cottage with only a bed in it, and candles lit.

I was ready.

It was 8. Then it was 8:15 pm. No word. We said 8, right?

8:20 pm.

I am losing my shit.

Then he texts that he is sorry, he got held up, but he would be right there.

I found my shit again.

I had butterflies swarming my stomach, and my knees felt shaky.

Why does this guy do this to me? I am like a teenager in heat.

He finally walks through the door, and I give him a hug. There is a current of something that passes between our bodies when we hug. It’s like I can’t let go. My crotch becomes magnetized to his.

But I cold sense something was wrong, at the same time.

I pulled back. He looked sheepish. We walked farther in. I asked him if he wanted a drink. I had some sparkling water. He did.

Then he told me:

I think I ate too much bar-b-que.

While rubbing his belly.

I stopped for a second and looked at him, wondering if that was supposed to turn me on, and quickly realized it was supposed to turn me off.

I handed him a glass of water and asked him:

What is going on?

He replied:

I am so sorry I am late. We had this bar-b-que with our neighbor’s, our best friends, and I have never gone out on a date on a Sunday before. It’s always been Family Night. I didn’t know what to say to everyone, why I was leaving. My wife encouraged me to come, but I feel weird and bad right now.



I felt punched in the heart.

I remember when I had those.

Family nights.

I wanted to weep right then and there.

But I didn’t.

I merely encouraged him to go back to his family. That we could meet another less encumbered time. And then I cried for almost an hour.

I didn’t have Family Nights anymore.

I have never felt as alone as I did at that moment.

Well, I exaggerate. I have my daughter now. I will never be truly alone. So, technically, that is not true.

But it certainly felt that way.

I don’t think I can see Highland Park anymore. This is too hard. Too weird. Too sad.

Being second in a polyamorous relationship SUCKS ASS.

6 thoughts on “FAMILY NIGHT

  1. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to deal with all the emotions associated with ending a marriage and at the same time trying to learn how to deal with trying to become a part of a poly relationship. Ughh. I’d be in a fetal position in the corner weeping!

    You obviously made it through though, so congrats!


    1. It was a ridiculously challenging time and continues to be so. I keep wondering when it is going to let up- or is life about learning how to be comfortable with so many uncomfortable feelings?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No, I’m convinced life should be about fun, hot sex. I’m currently writing a book on the topic. You know what they say, those who can’t do something should teach it! 😉

        You’ll get through A. I can already tell it’s made you stronger. Hopefully it hasn’t left you jaded.


  2. I pray you are right, about life being about fun, hot sex. Do you think it is possible in a long term monogamous relationship? Have you watched any Erika Lust films? I love her.


    1. Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to write that! Makes me feel better about it and less like a doormat. I truly only want what is best for everyone. I don’t want to hurt anyone.

      Liked by 1 person

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