I wake up with him on my mind and in my body

I get to see him tonight

I have not seen him since our afternoon interlude

I want to touch him so badly

I want to look into his eyes

I want to hear his voice

I want to know what is going on in his head

And heart

I don’t want to admit this

But I think I am falling in love with him

And that could be a not so good thing

Or maybe not

Maybe it’s totally okay

I mean

This is what polyamory is all about

Our capacity to love more than one person at a time

Holy fuck

I am going through some serious Zoloft withdrawals

Brain zaps

Hurt my head

Make me feel crazy

Or like I am about to go


Lose my mind

I am walking around my house talking to myself

Intermittently crying and laughing

Is this what a manic episode looks like?

I am so grateful Highland Park is coming over in 2 hours

I feel like I am better around another human being

And he is a human being that gets this

And me

I want him

I can’t have him that way

Attach to me

I got this

What if I trusted the universe?

What if I trusted me?

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