THREESOME

I am ridiculously happy my daughter is finally asleep. Too happy. I feel guilty about it.

No one warned me that one of the most challenging aspects of being a single parent would be enduring the most inane conversations for HOURS.

Look at me! Look at this! Look at me!

She’s such a narcissist.

And she has to preface everything with, “Mom!?”

To which I must reply, “Yes, sweet pea?”

There is NO ONE ELSE IN THE HOUSE! Who else is going to reply???

And yet, every single time, I say. “Yes, sweet pea?”

That is true love, right there.

And I do, I love her more than life itself and yet I find myself completely unable to be happy and entranced and in wonder about every little fucking thing she does or says. I reach that apex of frustration and an utter lack of patience at least once a day.

I am not proud of those moments. They are not pretty. They require walking away and taking many deep breaths before returning for the hugging and apologizing and mutual crying in each other’s arms.

This is what being a single mom looks like.

We need to find her a school five days a week. This three days a week bullshit is killing me. I am half the mother I used to be.

She was up till 10:30 pm tonight, as well.

10:30pm. She is four years old. That sounds crazy to me. What happened to 7 pm bedtime? What happened to my life? I used to have one from 7pm onwards.

Earlier, she wagged her naked butt in my face playfully while I neurotically cleaned the house waiting for Highland Park to respond to my anxious text.

I accused him of abandoning ship without telling me. He has been MIA recently. I don’t do well with MIA. I like communication. I am a big fan of it. Don’t fucking ghost me.

He finally responded. He is not abandoning ship or jumping out of the go cart or whatever metaphor we could come up with.

Phew.

Finally. Silence. My daughter is asleep and my heart is at ease.

I can sit down and relax.

I am tempted to get my little dildo, Layla and watch threesome porn. It’s my new thing.

It is easy to find beautiful, sensual, loving two girls and a guy threesome porn but try to find that with two guys and a girl and it is an arid desert out there.

Sure, there is two guys and a girl threesome porn a plenty, but none of it is loving, gentle, or sensual.

It’s just dick dick dick dick dick.

I feel sorry for those women.

The way I envision a threesome with two guys and me is way different. Much slower. Much more loving. More sensual. It’s more an exploration of bodies and motion and touch. Kissing. Lots of kissing. And touching genitals. LOTS of touching of genitals. And bodies squished together. Not so far apart from each other. If the men kissed, that would be hot too. I imagine the onslaught of masculine touch, sound, and taste, if done correctly, to be divine and overwhelmingly erotic.

I blame Highland Park.

He started it, I hope he ends it too.

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2 thoughts on “THREESOME

  1. I don’t think that feeling is unique to single parenthood. I feel it often when my son talks for an hour about some new video game.

    Coming from a porn aficionado I have to agree. The MFM porn tends to be more about using the woman rather than being there for the woman. Good luck.

    Like

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