THE KIBOSH

I am changing the way I talk about my divorce and being a single mom.

From now on, My Ex and I were only meant to come together so we could have our daughter and then remain friend(ly) after that. That is it. End of story. I get to bond with my daughter because of this, without his objections and criticism! Halleluiah!

I repeat this over and over, hoping it will stick.

Tonight is my first Friday night without her. She is at her Dad’s. I feel forlorn and bereft. Even though the conversations are insanely mundane, I miss her incessant chatter. I don’t know what to do with myself.

So quiet here. I miss the sounds of a family. I miss family dinners.

I took a yoga class and then a meditation class right after. Both were meh.

I saw my therapist today. I realized while talking to her that I don’t want to see The Tattoo Artist anymore- mainly because it is not the best use of my time. I keep trying to soothe the unsoothable. Only by my internal mother, apparently. And that isn’t as sexy and fun sounding as hooking up with a guy.

I miss Highland Park. I miss him.

I don’t know what else to say about that.

His wife put the kibosh on us. Maybe that is a good thing.

I would be threatened if I were her.

ki·bosh
ˈkīˌbäSH/
noun

informal
  1. put an end to; dispose of decisively.
    “he put the kibosh on the deal”
    synonyms: put a stop to, stop, halt, put an end to, quash, block, cancel, scotch,thwart, prevent, suppress; More

 

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