What I finally wrote was: Thank you for letting me know. I miss seeing you too. I hope you are well.
I am such a wuss.
I cried that whole day on and off. Felt so sorry for myself and abandoned forgotten and alone.
Then Monday came and during my staff meeting he chirps in on text with: Hi- how are you?
I smiled and squirmed. I also waited. For like an hour. Then I said something about not knowing how I am and that it felt like I hadn’t seen or heard from him in ages but I was prone to being hyperbolic.
He agreed and said it felt like ages for him too and could we talk on the phone later?
You bet your sweet ass we could.
We spoke for almost an hour later that day. I cried. He was empathetic and compassionate. He felt bad that he couldn’t give me more of him. He felt stuck between making sure his wife was okay with everything and that I also felt okay about everything except, of course, her being okay is the priority. And she is not totally okay with everything it seems. She has her moments. We all do.
But he did convey his feelings about me in a way that made me feel appreciated. And that was enough.
The shot in the arm.
I said everything I needed to.
I ended with knowing I was not done with him yet.