I was pissed. So pissed last night.
And stoned. Very stoned.
I had tea with my meditation teacher and friend today. She reminded me that my ex was probably lashing out because he felt guilty for not seeing his daughter on his birthday.
Can I relax around this? Can I change the story?
Then I met with the director of my daughter’s preschool and she reminded me of the Best Self I wanted to be; loving, gracious, grounded, strong, secure, confident, and generous. Then she asked me if I still loved him. I said yes. She said that is the problem, if I didn’t love him, I wouldn’t care. And she is right. I wouldn’t care if he married his ex-girlfriend and had a baby with her. Well, actually, I would care about that.
But it still hurt a lot that he could not make the time to see his daughter on his birthday but he found the time to take his ex-girlfriend to a spa. A spa I spoke about often, wishing we could go to, but never did. Ouch.
I still hate his guts but I have decided to take the high road, once more, and be cool, calm, and collected. I’m keeping it nice, light, and polite!!!! Even if I have to grin and bear it. “Fake it till you make it!”