THREAT OF ANOTHER THREESOME

I spoke to Highland Park yesterday for the first time in almost a month. We spoke on the phone only, but it has still rocked my world. I thought the chemicals were gone. I mean, I knew they lingered, I just didn’t know they could erupt in full force so quickly. Like flower spores in Death Valley waiting for the rain. Then BLOOM!

My heart is blooming again when I think of him. Ugh.

Hearing his voice. My heart aches. Fuck.

I want to touch him so badly. Hold him. Be held by him. Naked, preferably.

They had another threesome with mike. This one was even better.

There is talk of a threesome with me.

So many complexities, so many variabilities.

I would still do it. I would try.

But I can’t imagine how I would contain these feelings in front of her. And should I? Can I?

We have plans for lunch on Monday in a very public place.

I hope that seeing him will answer some of my questions about being able to be with him and his wife.

I don’t want to say no.

Yes, and….

I love him. I still fucking love him. What an asshole.

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