Went to Portland this weekend with my Mom and Pony. I LOVE that city. The water in the air ionized my anxiety and I was at peace. For once.

While there my ex-husband sent me this text:

Thank you for being so kind to Julie and I. You’ve moved a mountain.
I am grateful you and I are friends.
I think you are super cool.

I have to say, it is bittersweet to read this.

I guess they worked it through- which is ultimately what I wanted for them.But man, life would be so much easier if he had wanted to work it through with me.


I mean, I am the mother of his child. At the very least, it would have saved him a shitload of money.

I’ve abandoned the online dating. Again. After one week. I found that when the conversation turned to actually meeting up, I was not ready. So I felt unfair.

A great quote from Brene Brown:

”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:

I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.
Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”
Brené Brown

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