I told my meditation teacher how shocked I was that I was comfortable telling Tommy what was okay and not okay. She said that it was because I finally love myself. Ha. I thought loving myself would feel more like doing a line of cocaine than doing the dishes.
Ex-hubby and I took our daughter to the Sequoyah’s for our first “family vacation.” We all slept in a cabin together and looked for shooting stars at night. Although it wasn’t completely comfortable all of the time, it was okay, and I think we all had a nice time. And I know it meant the world to our daughter. Her dad was sleeping on this shitty broken blow-up bed on the floor of the cabin at night and finally I told him to just sleep in bed with us. Our daughter slept between us and the look on her face as she fell asleep- pure contentment. It was a worthy endeavor. He and I were very respectful of each other. The only hard moment for me came when we were driving home and he was telling me about how he wanted to go to therapy with his girlfriend and give our daughter a better example of relationships. I said- under my breath but not really- that if he wanted our daughter to have a good image of a relationship he may have considered therapy with me, her mother. But whatever. What is done is done. Let go. Drop the rock. Swim to the surface. Surrender.
Next weekend is The Ojai Valley Inn with Tommy. This is a swanky expensive resort. I don’t usually go to such places. I am very excited.