Yesterday I went from blonde to almost black. Then I spent eight hours getting my body tattooed by the incredible Justine Serebrin, owner of Earth Altar Studio in Eagle Rock. She sat with me and discussed what was going on in my life. What I wanted to “call in.” Where I was at. Then I took off my clothes and she freestyled on the right side of my body. From my ribs to my calf. I took one look in the mirror, gasped, and said, “Holy shit that is beautiful. Let’s do it.” We blessed the ink. I held a rose quartz. We played yoga music. And I sat. She tattooed. We bonded. It feels like a rite of passage into a whole new way of being. I hope this means something. Something big.
I went to an AA meeting with Sean this morning. I wanted so badly to correct share. People were confusing the spiritual malady with alcoholism. I kept telling myself, ” You have one week sober, shut the fuck up and listen.” Humility is a bitch.
I met Sean’s son this afternoon, for the first time. He is fifteen. He was dropped off at a brunch we were at and eventually made his way into the house about an hour into it. He was very interesting. I enjoyed speaking with him. I didn’t push too hard but gave him his space and then came back and kept engaging. He engaged back with me, which I thought was pretty cool.
Then we all drove home together in Sean’s car and it was incredibly sweet, the four of us. The way Sean talks to Pony is super charming and sweet. It felt really really good, us all being together like that. I invited his son up to see our place before they left and it flowed, nicely. I guess I made a good impression on his son. Which is everything.
Then I spoke to a new possible sponsor for me, named Teresa, and had a lovely connection with her.
She is going to take me through the steps.
I felt overwhelmed with gratitude after speaking with her. Just this sense of rightness, being sober, being with Sean, our kids being together, doing the steps with Teresa, hanging out with my dear sober friend Nicky and his sober crew. My sober bestie back in my life. Everything.
I knelt at my altar and wept.
God, please set aside everything I think I know about AA, sobriety, and especially you, God, for an open mind and a new experience of AA, sobriety, and especially you, God.
I have a new experience with the Big Book. I don’t see it as a textbook anymore. A rigid “how to.” But more of a collection of stories. Stories. Kind of how I see the bible. Stories. I love stories. Stories make me happy. Stories make me fall in love with humanity. Stories are not dogma.